Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
