so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
