he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
