Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
