I just pynch a tree in the face
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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