Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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