Don't you send me to vm
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
