id be glad to
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
