I just saw a hot homeless man
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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