So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
