i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
