If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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