I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
