Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
