You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
