Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
