i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
