just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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