I want to have your abortion
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
please don't ironically join a cult
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