You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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