We got so high we made milksteak
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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