remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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