at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
