i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
