i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
