maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
