this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
