Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh god it's open bar.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
