How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
