In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
