i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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