We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Please don't give away my fajitas
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
