Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
