im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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