3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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