this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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