yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
