i just made my gag reflex go away.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
