If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
