I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
