Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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