Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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