I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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