Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
