I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
