I hate all girls vehemently.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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