Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
