Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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