I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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