the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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