You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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