so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish you could order shots online.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old