White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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