Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.