@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.