are you still at the devil's house?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.