I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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