i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
