You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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