sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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