areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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