girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
