yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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