I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
