dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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