either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
