Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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