Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
