Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize