Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
