Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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