Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
