I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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