Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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