wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
