Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
